What do you write if you didn't know the person who died?

Write to the person you know. For example: I'm so sorry about your father. I'm thinking of you and your family.

Is it too late to send a sympathy card?

No. AARP says a week or two after the death is best, and that it is never too late. A card that comes weeks later, when the calls have stopped, can mean a lot.

How do you sign a sympathy card?

With sympathy, Thinking of you, or With love for someone close. Then your name, and your partner's or children's names if the card is from all of you.

Can I include a Bible verse or a poem?

Yes, if it fits what the family believes. See Bible verses about death and funeral poems and readings, all free to copy.

Guides

What to write in a sympathy card

Keep it short and sincere. Say you are sorry, use the name of the person who died, and add one memory or a specific offer of help if you have one. AARP's advice is that three or four lines are enough, and that a week or two after the death is the best time to send it. It is never too late.

Last checked October 20, 2026.

Quick facts

A week or two after the death is the best time to send a condolence note, and it is never too late (AARP, 2020).
Three or four lines are enough for a condolence note (AARP, 2020).
Avoid lines that start with At least or say everything happens for a reason, because they can sound like a request to be less sad (Speaking Grief, WPSU, as of 2026).

What do you write in a sympathy card?

Most good sympathy notes have the same few parts. You don't need all of them.

Start with the grieving person's first name if you know them well, or Dear and their name if you don't.
Say you are sorry, and name the person who died.
Add a short memory, or something you admired about them.
Offer one specific kind of help, if you mean it.
Close with With sympathy, Thinking of you, or With love for someone close.

What do you write in a sympathy card for a coworker?

I'm so sorry about your mother. I'm thinking of you, and we have things covered here for as long as you need.
I was sorry to hear about Mark's death. Please take all the time you need.
Thinking of you and your family. If there's any work I can take on for you, tell me.
I'm sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts.

What do you write in a sympathy card for a friend?

I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved her. I'll call on Sunday, and you don't have to pick up.
I keep thinking about the summer your dad taught us to fish. He was so patient with us. I'm sorry he's gone.
There are no right words. I love you, and I'm here.
I'm bringing dinner on Thursday. No need to answer the door or write back.

What do you write in a sympathy card for a family member?

Every holiday was Grandpa's holiday. I'm so sorry, and I'm here for whatever you need.
I'm thinking of you every day. Let's talk about Aunt Ruth whenever you want to.
We're all missing her. Thank you for taking such good care of her.

What do you write when someone's parent died?

I'm so sorry about your dad. I'll always remember how proud he was of you.
Your mom was kind to everyone she met, me included. I'm sorry she's gone.
Losing a parent changes everything. I'm thinking of you and your family.

What do you write when someone's child died?

Say less, and say the child's name. Parents often want to hear it. Don't try to explain the death or find a reason for it.

I'm so deeply sorry about Lily. I will always remember her laugh.
There are no words for this. I'm thinking of you, and of Sam.
I'm so sorry. I'll be here next week, and next month, and after that.

What do you write when someone's husband, wife or partner died?

I'm so sorry about Tom. You two did everything together.
Thinking of you as you face the days without her. I'd like to bring lunch next Tuesday.
I'm so sorry. I'll miss his stories at every block party.

What should you not write in a sympathy card?

Speaking Grief, a public media project from WPSU at Penn State, suggests a test: imagine what the grieving person might hear after your sentence. If that hidden ending hurts, leave the sentence out. It lists these lines to avoid:

Everything happens for a reason.
They're in a better place now.
Anything that starts with At least.
I know how you feel.
Be strong, or don't cry.
It could be worse.

What else should you leave out?

AARP also advises against saying time will heal, writing about your own losses, or going into a troubled or complicated relationship with the person who died. Keep the card about them and the person you're writing to.

Questions people ask

What do you write if you didn't know the person who died?: Write to the person you know. For example: I'm so sorry about your father. I'm thinking of you and your family.
Is it too late to send a sympathy card?: No. AARP says a week or two after the death is best, and that it is never too late. A card that comes weeks later, when the calls have stopped, can mean a lot.
How do you sign a sympathy card?: With sympathy, Thinking of you, or With love for someone close. Then your name, and your partner's or children's names if the card is from all of you.